But what if you don't like it?

Is it still Art?

đŸŽ¶ kristo’s bongo theme đŸŽ¶

hey, welcome back to kristo.art...

in this episode I’m back at Cologne’s Museum Ludwig, and I’m deliberately going outside my filter bubble to look at a painting that I really, really disliked...

 

[“I hope this is worth it”]

 

now that’s not to say that you would or wouldn’t like it, because I DO in fact have friends that like it...

anyway, the guy who gave that TED Talk about filter bubbles is so right on the money saying that it’s important to check out stuff that you categorically profess to dislike...

but I already knew that from my immersion in Jungian psychology...

Jungian’s call it your Shadow...

and each instance of a person or thing you dislike can offer you valuable insight into your own psyche...

 

[“really?”]

 

 

 

paying attention to that is what gives your personality depth... and is a creative way to push the envelope on your capacity for wisdom...

 

[“ooh”]

 

so I think you know...

that’s never easy...

but what you may not know is that it sure doesn’t have to be boring...

 

[“don’t touch that!” “where’s my script?!!” “this is important!”]


in the museum:

“Well I’m having a really tough time today getting started, but at least I am


so, I’m looking at this piece that I’ve seen a number of times before


and thought about


but mostly from the perspective of disliking it intensely


I find it almost abhorrent


and looking at it to try and analyze it, or to try and find some meaning in it is —  it's like trying to analyze someone's dream that you're not particularly interested in, but also don't even have a clue as to where to start
”

And here's the bad-boy in question:

Michael Krebber Painting
MK/M 2015/07

in the studio: (it's simpicle...)

[“what to say, what to say...”]

So here I am in a museum, I’m standing in front of another enigmatic painting that’s supposed to be worth looking at, but all I can think to say is: I don’t like it...!?

where the hell is my Intuition...???

 

[“heh, i dunno”]

 

I mean, if Intuition is the art super-power we all have, I gotta tell ya, this painting is making me feel more like Jimmy Olsen than Clark Kent...

 

[“uh-oh!”]

 

but that’s the way it goes with Intuition...

you can’t force it...

the only trick, if you could call it that, is to gently nudge your logical mind out of the way...

 

[a polite “um, excuse me...”]

 

but that’s so much easier said than done...

 

[increasingly more assertive: “excuse me.” “excuse me!” “excuse me!!”]

 

and the reason it’s so difficult is fear...

 

[audience gasp]

 

there, I said it...

FEAR...

 

[sobbing “why?”]

 

why fear...?

well,it’s not the fact that I have absolutely no idea what my Intuition is gonna find...

because that’s always the case...

you can NEVER predict what it’s gonna come up with... 

 

[“roger that”]

 

but the thing I’m really frightened of is that it might not tell me anything that will knock my socks off...

and that would mean I’ve got nothing to say that’ll knock YOUR socks off...

 

[“that’s bad!”]

 

but you see, some of that depends on the quality of the work of art itself...

not just me...

 

[“no sir!”]

 

I mean, just because it’s in a museum doesn’t mean it’s a holy relic of art sainthood...

 

đŸŽ¶ angelic hymn đŸŽ¶

 

something eminently capable of performing miracles with your hosiery...

 

[“why the fuck not?”]

 

and just so you know, there actually ARE such things as third rate Picassos...

 

[“what?!?”]

 

images that might do more for you sitting in a safety deposit box than hanging on your wall...

 

[“cha-thing!”]

 

but the truth is, that you and I will always be assailed by doubts if we’re serious about looking at and learning to appreciate art...

 

[“no... um... I’m not so sure”]

 

standing in front of a work of art — any work of art — is a very vulnerable place to put yourself...

and if you let yourself feel that vulnerability — which amounts to not knowing what the hell to say about it — you’ll actually be calling up the resistance that Steven Pressfield talks about in the War of Art.

 

[“uh oh”]

 

and the reason creative resistance rears its ugly head — even when all we’re doing is just being nice, well-behaved museum visitors looking at some art — well, that’s because looking at someone else’s art work is NEVER a passive activity...

 

[“hmmm...”]

 

if it’s really art it will challenge — even beg you —

 

[“please”]

 

to see and understand it for yourself...

 

[“please!”]

 

and that isn’t JUST a creative act...

it’s the action that’s necessary to complete that work’s very meaning as a work of Art...

 

[“no way...!”]

 

without you, it’s just another tree falling in a forest with nobody around to hear it...

 

[“deep into that darkness, peering... lo, I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting; dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before. But the silence was unbroken...”] (a verse from Edgar Allan Poe's The Raven)

 

[“please!!”]

 

sure, you can leave that to other visitors, or to art professionals...

but it’s your unique perspective that will not only enrich and complete that work of art, it will make it your own...

 

[“that’s awesome...!”]

 

there’s a very famous quote that says: "There really is no such thing as Art. There are only artists."

 

[“yeah...”]

 

And a philosopher riffing on that Truth (Curt Ducasse) explained that THINGS like paintings and sculpture are not Art, they are WORKS of art.

Art itself is an activity of mankind.

 

[“that’s it...!”]

 

so I’m here to tell you that taking the time to really see art for yourself is an activity that makes you a co-creator of the work of art in front of you...

 

[“that is excellent”]

 

trust me, no matter how much effort and expertise Leonardo put into his Mona Lisa, that painting isn’t Art until YOU have an opportunity to really, really see her for yourself...

 

[“that’s correct.”]

 

think about it, the very fact that it’s impossible to get up close and personal with the Mona Lisa actually means that it is no longer available as Art...

 

[a confused “what...?”]

 

all it is now is a relic of Leonardo that’s being held hostage — and forced to exist as some clichĂ©d meme of celebrity...

aside from a very few fortunate ĂŒber-celebrities who get to see her up-close, she may never, ever be released from that awful state of affairs...

 

[“nooo...”]

 

so, how do you really, see a work of art for what it is when you’re standing less than 2 feet away from it, but all you can think to say is: “What the hell is THAT thing supposed to be?”

 

[“I don’t want to tell you”]

 

well, as long as you know that you HAVE this capacity called Intuition, you can trust that it WILL eventually kick in...

and once it does, it’s gonna tell you all you need to know about the work you’re looking at...

 

[“I like that!”]

 

see, for me, Intuition and Creativity are pretty much one and the same thing...

Steven Pressfield calls it the Muse...

and I’m fine with that...

either way though, there’s no forcing the Muse...

 

[“I know, I know, I know”]

 

which brings us right back to where we started...

and that leaves us no choice with this painting, but to get down to work and see what we can see and think what we can think...

it’s either that or just forget it, take a selfie and move on...

 

[“okay, that’s it... I quit. This guy is terrible!”]

 

so here’s the thing:

if you can just remember that one thing — that looking is a creative act on your part...

it’s just another tiny step to KEEP looking after your initial first impression of: "me Likey" / "me No Likey"

 

[“aw, why?”]

 

because that’s the first step in nudging your logical mind out of the way and giving your Intuition a chance to lead you somewhere wildly creative and surprisingly fascinating...

 

[“where... ? where...?”]

 

think of it like active listening...

you know what I mean: 

letting someone finish talking before you decide what you’re gonna say in response...

I think we all know how difficult that can be...

 

[“shut up, mate... you’re boring.”]

 

if you’re anything like me, your logical mind is fidgeting around and either trying to come up with something clever to say...

or trying not to forget that clever little thought you just had...

 

[Damn!”]

 

that may be normal...

but it’s not your Muse talking to you...

it’s your logical mind actively interrupting your Muse... 

 

[“blah, blah blah, blah blah...”]

 

Looking at art is very much like a conversation...

and the first step in looking is to just stop and look...

 

[“but THAT is not all”]

 

the next step — the one that’s most important AND most difficult is to keep standing there and not walk away...

 

[“You’re scaring me”]

 

it’s as simple and as difficult as that...

 

đŸŽ¶ BONGOS đŸŽ¶


in the museum:

“so I guess the obvious is that it's only two colors


on a gessoed canvas


a fairly large one
 

not huge


I’ll find out later what the actual size is
 

but it’s some sort of intense red


kind of a dull red


and some kind of dark blue:

a Prussian Blue


very dark...

and it looks as if there was some very large almost splotches of paint... 

 

but I don't think so...

this is just probably painted with a brush and then taking a squeegee — very Richter-style — taking a squeegee and going from left to right and bringing that blue onto the red

 

đŸŽ¶ BONGOS đŸŽ¶


in the studio:

so this is hilarious to me...

of course I’m laughing at myself, because I’ve gone from a feeling-based, like it / hate it, first impression to a slightly more objective, but not terribly detailed description of facts about the colors I’m seeing...

 

[a slightly exasperated “oh boy... oh boy, ooh boy...”]

 

I’m never interested in reading the physical descriptions of anyone’s painting or sculpture...

they’re usually too clinical...

or worse: too art-jargony...

 

[“bliblbliblibliblib”]

 

just like this description I just gave, they rarely have any juice in them...

 

[“roger that”]

 

and yet, by leaning into the dull, but simple facts of description, I’ve actually stumbled into an observation that feels a little more Intuitive...

 

[“hooray!”]

 

and that was when I made the connection between the way the colors seem to be applied and Gerhard Richter’s signature style...

how he always uses an enormous squeegee to work over his big abstract pieces...

 

 

[“I ain’t NEVER seen nothin’ like THAT before”]

 

and that’s the thing with looking at art works...

they’ll ALWAYS remind you of something else...

 

[“Johnny, is this true?”]

 

and making connections like this is one, about Richter, is one of the chief characteristics of Intuitive observation...

 

[“ooooh”]

 

but you see, even if you didn’t know anything about Gerhard Richter, or never heard of him...

you shouldn’t worry that you wouldn’t or couldn’t make that connection for yourself...

you would still see the squeegee marks...

and if all it reminds you of is cleaning your windshield when you pump gas...

that’s good enough...

because you might be on to something...

 

[squeegee sounds / “what was that?" / more squeegee sounds ]

 

art critics, art historians, artists and art students...?

well, they’ve all looked at so much art , and do it so often, they can’t help but be reminded of things they’ve seen in the art world...

 

[“hmmm, what’s this?”]

 

just trust that the more you look, the more you’ll be reminded of those things too...

 

[“hmm, what is this?”]

 

fact is, this Richter connection may not be important at all...

 of course if it is...

 that could be a problem...

 

[“maybe”]

 

but the problem wouldn’t be that you didn’t see the connection...

the problem would be that the artist isn’t talking to you or interested in your thoughts...

 

[“oh...”]

 

now there could be any number of reasons for that...

but the likelihood is that the artist is oblivious to the fact that you, the viewer, are just as important to the piece as they are...

 

[“hmmm”]

 

in which case, what they’ve created isn’t really ART, but what Carl Jung called a Mandala:

a private pictorial expression of some inner psychological state...

 

[“you realize, some people are not going to be happy with this”]

 

I think that if someone really cares about making works of art, they’ve got to meet you, the viewer, at least half-way...

 

[“where?]

 

and the only way to know if they have is to meet THEM half-way...

 

[“where?”]

 

which means:

not walking away

you’ve just gotta stand there, and you’ve gotta keep looking...

 

[“nooo”]

 

đŸŽ¶ BONGOS đŸŽ¶


in the museum:

 “my guess is that because there are definite edges — mostly on the left side of this painting — it looks like a Morris Louis or a Helen Frankenthaler that was painted horizontally and the paint was allowed to drip somewhat and then the canvas was made vertical...

because all of the right side looks as if there's been dripping there...

and it just looks very messy...

 

actually these red splotches and the whole concept — it feels like I'm looking at somebody's used condoms...

it just feels really personal / impersonal — impersonally personal?

a little bit shameful...

unpleasant...

 

and the overall impression is that this looks like Hotel room art


it’s like a Pier 1 kind of thing except I don’t think anybody would buy it —not for decorative purposes...

not unless they had some quirky personality issue where they’d like to make their guests uncomfortable in their living room.

 

because, would I want this in my living room?

Absolutely no way


 

would I even want to live with this thing?

no way!

 

of course there might be something really important and interesting in it metaphorically...

and that's what I'm here to try and figure out but so far what I can tell is: I don’t see ANYTHING in this
”

 

đŸŽ¶ JAZZ BASS RIFF đŸŽ¶


in the studio:

well, not only has my speculating brought in Gerhard Richter, it has now reached for Morris Louis and Helen Frankenthaler...

 

[“who’s that?”]

 

Man Watching Beta Zeta by Morris Louis
Man Watching Beta Zeta by Morris Louis
(image courtesy of Rino Porrovecchio & Wikimedia Commons)
Creative Commons License: Attribution-Share Alike 2.0

 

Helen Frankenthaler: Tutti Frutti
Helen Frankenthaler: Tutti Frutti
(image courtesy of smallcurio from Austin, TX and Wikimedia Commons)
Creative Commons License: Attribution-Share Alike 2.0

 

two artists whose work I’ve seen before...

but not so much in person...

I’ve mostly heard and read about them in art school...

and I’ve never spent much time contemplating any of their paintings in person...

 

[“what?!?”]

 

so now, without going off into a rabbit hole of the art-historical facts involved, it seems to me that this artist is referencing an enormous field of art-criticism and theory otherwise known as color field painting, and more specifically, something known as stain painting...

 

[“huh?]

 

all that means is that artists poured their paint directly onto raw canvas and let it stain the canvas in abstract shapes that they only partially controlled...

 the two artists I mentioned are probably the most famous of those stain painters...

but researching all the relevant facts, factoids, artists and art theories involved, well that would take years of work...

 

[“oh no...!”]

 

of course, that’s what art historians and certain types of art and cultural critics do...

 

[walkie-talkie: “that’s correct”]

 

so right here, before I spill the beans on who this artist is, let me just say, that in researching him, I found that he was and still is indeed obsessed with art history and art theory...

 

[“yeah, so what?”]

 

so much so, it seems that all of his paintings and sculptures constitute something of a lecture on the subject...

 

[“you’re scaring me”]

 

fortunately, even though our Intuition put us on the right track here, there’s no need for us to hop on that particular train...

 

[Phew!]

 

all that we need to know is that Intuition was starting to kick in — even if it didn’t feel like that to me while I was standing there in front of this painting...

 

Weird, huh...?

 

[“yes sir!”]

 

đŸŽ¶ BONGOS đŸŽ¶


in the museum:

“so beside that definite Richter-process of using a squeegee — which I see more and more artists doing or having done — the only other thing that popped up after staring at this thing for a while (because I spared you the five or 10 minutes of me just standing here feeling speechless)... 

(was) the negative space


I noticed it but I don't even feel like it's interesting
 

 

work like this bothers me because it almost pretends to a
.

to some sort of intelligent idea...

 

but that’s not exactly it


because it could be an intelligent idea
”

 

đŸŽ¶ BONGOS đŸŽ¶


in the studio:

more hilarity...

I decided that I didn’t find any of the negative space interesting...

 

[chuckling “that is so funny...”]

 

and that for sure was my Intuition talking...

again — even though I didn’t even realize it at the time...

 

[“did you know?” “no, I didn’t know”]

 

my Intuition was picking up on a quote from art history that I had never read or come across before, but is apparently implicit in the overall intention of this artist...

 

[“maybe”]

 

so check out this quote...

it was made in 1970, and it comes from Helen Frankenthaler...

she said: 

When I first started doing the stain paintings, I left large areas of canvas unpainted...because the canvas itself acted as forcefully and as positively as paint or line or color. In other words...instead of thinking of it as background or negative space...that area did not need paint because it had paint next to it. 

(source of quote)

 

[“interesting”]

 

now that’s cool...

I can dig it...

and so can you... 

yo, Thanks, Intuition...!

 

đŸŽ¶ JAZZ BASS RIFF đŸŽ¶


in the museum:

“there’s a pretention to it


like “oh, this is all random, but look how beautiful my random lines are
” or “my random shapes are
”

and:

“it's not really random
 I have this concept in mind
 I have this procedure in mind
”

so
?

so what


I don't buy it


I wouldn’t buy this


the blue on the bottom looks like cat paws


it’s almost like a cat ran over it

or slid on it
 

 

and there’s a sense that this red dripped a little bit once the canvas had been worked over horizontally and than it was put vertically and the paint hadn’t dried completely so there’s a little bit of drip in the vertical direction...

but again


So what
?

I’m completely mystified by this


and not in a good way
”

 

đŸŽ¶ BONGOS đŸŽ¶


in the studio: 

Well, all I can say here is that the shapes the artist created are very much random, even if he had lots of definite ideas in mind...

 

[“do you give up now?”]

 

nobody could possibly have created any of these shapes with the idea of producing some definite figurative image, or being sure that all their dripping and squeegeeing would take those specific shapes that they ended up taking...

this is the kind of abstraction that you can easily say, my 3 year old could do that...

 

[“fer sure”]

 

and I think you’d be right...

but there still had to be some specific intention behind this painting, beyond what your average 3 year old normally tries to accomplish with paint...

and that’s what I learned about this artist in my post-museum researching...

 

[“hm, what’s that?”]

 

that my speculating on his teeter-tottering between random shapes and definite purpose is something this artist is actually known for...

 

[“yeah, I know” (chuckles)]

 

once again...

my Intuition was telling me pretty much everything I needed to know...

even if I didn’t realize it...

 and THAT blows my socks off...!

 Thanks, Intuition...

 

đŸŽ¶ BONGOS đŸŽ¶


in the museum:

“this is the most enigmatic of images...

but because it’s here in the museum and because it had intrigued me just because it was so puzzling, and I didn't like it


As I’ve said, sometimes you just have to go with the stuff you really dislike the most


you’re gonna find something of yourself in there


ugh


something of my shadow...

 

so what
?

what aspect of myself am I seeing reflected back to me?

 

mistakes, maybe
?

we learn the most from our mistakes — that's been a mantra of mine for a long time...

 

is this showing me my mistakes
?

is this showing me that I have to embrace my mistakes
?

is that what this abstraction does
?

 

okay


maybe
 

 

so, is this piece about mistakes
?

is this piece about Life
? 

 

I don’t know


I find nothing masterful in it


certainly not the technique


it’s almost maddening


 

like with dreams, though


sometimes we just can't figure them out


until something hits you


 

something


 

these things look like fish or flatworms or parasites or


 

what the hell
?

 

I think it's about


well, I’m going with the mistakes thing. 

 

I’ll just leave it at that...”

 

đŸŽ¶ JAZZ BASS RIFF đŸŽ¶


in the studio: 

this too, is hilarious...

but pretty embarrassing...

but that certainly isn’t my fault, since, this painting looks more like a Rorschach test than fine art...

 

[“I see seven chairs”]

[“I see a cloud”]

 

it sure made me feel like I was on a psychiatrist’s couch...

 

[“I see these things now”]

[“I see five lamps”]

 

but here’s the art thing that really hit me:

 

["I smell the flower”]

 

all of the art theory surrounding color field painting and stain painting may be ĂŒber-intellectual and pretty involved...

 

[“it’s all complicated”]

 

but most of it was written before post-modern art theorizing became as difficult to digest as Kant...

so it’s not impossible to follow...

 

[“phew...!”]

 

but really, you don’t need to know much more about it than the fact that it’s associated with the art critic, Clement Greenberg (who probably did read and understand Kant)

 

[more exasperation: “ooh boy” “ooooh boy...”]

 

Greenberg, Leo Steinberg and Harold Rosenberg were the three mountain-men of influential post-war art criticism...

and Greenberg argued that modern painting had an OBLIGATION to be abstract...

and that any resemblance to things in the outside world...

any recognizable shapes or images (like fish or flatworms or used condoms)

 

[“ew!”]

 

would hinder the raw emotional or psychological impact of the forms and colors on the canvas...

so yeah, this painting was having a psychological impact on me all right...

and the impact was more embarrassing than not...

 

[“O, Woe is me...”]

 

but the real news is that this makes at least 4 painters and 3 art critic / theorists that our artist has tried to paint into this thing on the wall...

 

[“I have four airplanes”]

 

and I gotta tell you, there’s little doubt in my mind that he’s also got a smattering of Kant somewhere on the canvas as well...

 

[“ugh”]

 

so once again, my Intuition is telling me this stuff before I find out through my research...

 

[“I have a thing for algorithmic music composers”]

 

and what I find out is that this artist is pretty much known for this...

 

So, once again, thanks Intuition...!

 

[“we’re just friends”]

 

đŸŽ¶ BONGOS đŸŽ¶


in the museum:

“okay
I guess it's time to find out who did this and what the name of this thing is...

maybe that’ll help


Krebber Label
(not much info here...)

Michael Krebber born in 1954...

oh, he’s a local boy from Cologne...

the title is MK/M

oh boy


from 2015...

it’s acrylic on canvas...

 

it’s already a little bit peculiar


acrylics dry pretty fast


that’s the cool thing about them...

the colors are not as interestingly intense as oils...

 

I've used acrylics myself when I was doing psychological work...

there’s a lot to be said for it


but as a way of working stuff out in your own psyche


that's my sense here


 

so this is like a personal working out of something — his own mistakes, his own feelings, his own stuff


and we’re witness to it...

 

boy, I think — what's his face — goodness why can’t I remember the name that critic right now


I really like him, too


the Australian critic (Robert Hughes)

 

I don't think he would have liked this


and I don’t like it either


 

I like the concept of


the concept of working stuff out through moving color around


moving color around on a surface


is a way of expressing some aspect of yourself that you can't quite put into words


and that's what this is...

that's my take on it


 

and this is — this is actually for a psychologist or a psychiatric session for the painter to learn more about himself...

but it's also for us to learn about about ourselves — or me to learn about myself...

 

I’ll have to think about it
 probably a little bit more
”

đŸŽ¶ BONGOS đŸŽ¶


 in the studio:

so, you know what...

I was wrong...

 

[“well, this is awkward”]

 

this painter WAS talking to us...

and we DID complete his work of Art...

but I get the feeling that we did most of the heavy lifting...

 

[heavy grunt]

 

okay, I’ve looked at tons of this guy’s work on-line, and I can see how he’s spent years reading up on art theory...

and so his painting is essentially a textbook on the stuff...

 

[“shhh we’re in a library”]

 

and I don’t think he wants viewers to find anything psychological in his work...

 

[“shhhh”]

 

I think he understands all of his work to be experiments in art theory, and he wants each piece to be a visual lecture on the subject...

 

[“blah blah blah bah blah blah...”]

 

and because of that, his paintings need more than that little plaque on the wall with the title and date and his name...

you’d need copies of his lectures and all of the papers and books on art theory and criticism he’s read and absorbed...

 

[“you can’t do that!”]

 

fact IS, he actually HAD one of his lectures painted onto 90 canvases...

but in a really peculiar and cryptic manner...

with snippets of the text painted over comic book style images...

so I don’t think he expected you to read his words on the canvases...

he seemed to want to show how all of his work is completely imbued with ideas...

 

lecture snippet painted onto cartoon canvas
Michael Krebber: image from his ‘London Condom’ show at Maureen Paley

[“are you kidding me?”]

 

well, as far as ideas go, since I was reminded of Helen Frankenthaler:

in just about any art world context you can imagine, you can’t mention her without mentioning Clement Greenberg...

 

[more exasperation: “oh boy...”]

 

which we did...

but not only for his theory about her work...

but for the obligatory salacious tidbit that they were intimately involved for a number of years...

Greenberg & Frankenthaler
Greenberg & Frankenthaler

 

[group shocked...]

 

it’s a factoid you run into whenever you read about either one of them...

but another, more interesting fact about their relationship, was that Greenberg apparently told Frankenthaler what and how she needed to paint...

 

[“wow... asshole”]

 

[(chuckle) “I heard that”]

 

now I didn’t read this anywhere, it’s something that Lisa Wainwright, one of my favorite art history professors told us one day in class... 

and what’s important about that information — aside from the feminist perspective on it — is that here was a blatant example of that old complaint about art critics who judge other people’s art because they can’t make any of their own...

 

[“fer sure”]

 

and I mention it because we seem to have an artist who wants to be painter and art theorist / critic all rolled into one...

 

[“roger that”]

 

so what he gives us is a painting that ends up being way too much work for the average viewer to understand...

 

[“Let’s see if you can figure this out... No pressure... No one else has yet”]

 

you ever hear the joke about the way different nationalities laugh at jokes...?

 

["No!”]

 

well, it’s based on stereotypes, so of course, it’s offensive, but the gist of it is that an Englishman always laughs twice at a joke...

the first time is when he hears it — and the second time is in the middle of the night, when he finally gets it...

A German always laughs once — but the poor guy never does get the joke...

 

[dad joke groans]

 

Somehow I feel like I’m in there somewhere...

I THINK I get the point of this painting — and this artist...

but who knows...?

 

[“so many have failed before, what makes you think you’re different?”]

 

I feel like this artist didn’t want meet us where we are, and might not even have come half-way...

this episode feels like we went the extra couple of miles...

and he...

well, he just kept on going in his own direction...

 

[“South, south which is a wind is not rain, does silence choke speech or does it not.”]

(Excerpt from the poem: Tender Buttons, part 3, "Rooms" by Gertrude Stein. Reading by Ariane Stolfi. Performed at the Web Audio Conference in Berlin (19-21 September 2018).

and it’s not that he doesn’t want us to follow...

because I’m pretty certain that he does...

he’s an art teacher, after all...

 

[“what a sucker”]

 

but I’m not sure I’d be interested in taking any more of his classes...

 

[“oh, no... oh no”]

 

and so am I glad I took the time to look deeply into this work...?

you bet...

looking at art that you don’t like can be pretty satisfying and instructive...

 

[“do it again”]

 

I mean, this episode has given me an even greater appreciation for the power of Intuition than I had before — and I can’t ask for anything better than that...

 

[“don’t push your luck”]

 

and I sure had a lot of laughs...

all at my own expense, of course...

 

[“if you know what I mean... wait, what?”]

 

and I already knew this, but you’ll see for yourself: your Intuition / the Muse / is one hell of a great comedian...

 

[chuckle... “did he fall for it?”]

 

đŸŽ¶ outro theme: A River of Doubt đŸŽ¶

 

well, thanks for listening... 

you can find transcripts, links and a few surprises on the website: https://kristo.art

so if you dig the show, please share it...

but you know what would be even BETTER...?

it would be just awesome if you went to some museum or gallery and tried this out for yourself:

pick one painting or sculpture and just stand in front of it for 5 whole minutes...

don’t worry about what comes up for you after "I like it / I hate it..."

whatever goes through your mind is just perfect...

not only that, but you standing there is what actually makes the thing in front of you a work of Art...

without you, it’s very sadly incomplete...

 

This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

 

alrighty then...

ciao a tutti...


got a question, a comment, or just wanna say hi...?

I'd love to hear from you...

talk to me...


Music Credits

đŸŽ¶ kristo's intro theme plus extra bongo jams and jazzy bass riff transitions courtesy of freeware loops by Beyonda

đŸŽ¶ most BONGOS: freeware courtesy of stayonbeat.com

đŸŽ¶ angelic hymn” courtesy of pycckuu20032003
This work is licensed under the Sampling+ License.

đŸŽ¶ outro music: A River of Doubt, by the awesome Skip Peck


kristo's camp counselors: 

[“Are you kidding me?”]

“Are you kidding me?” courtesy of LittleRainySeasons
This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution License.

[audience gasp]

“audience gasp” courtesy of FreqMan
This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution License.

["blah, blah, blah"]

"blah, blah, blah" courtesy of unfa
This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution License.

[“bliblbliblblibl”]

"bliblbliblblibl" courtesy of Andrew Roselund of Sangwha Communications
This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution License.

[“but THAT is not all”]

“but THAT is not all” courtesy of arytopia
This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution License.

[“cha-ching”]

“cha-ching” courtesy of angelak_m
This work is licensed under the Creative Commons 0 License.

[dad joke groans]

group-oooh" courtesy of TeamMasaka
This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution License.

[“Damn!”]

“damn...!” courtesy of Tim Kahn and Amy Gedgaudas
This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution License.

[“Deep into that darkness peering, etc.”] (a verse from Edgar Allan Poe's The Raven)

"Deep into that darkness peering, etc." courtesy of Speedenza
This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial License.

[(chuckle) “did he fall for it?”]

"did he fall for it?" courtesy of Coral_Island_Studios
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[“did you know
? (etc.)”]

"did you know? no, I didn’t know" courtesy of  samueleunimancer
This work is licensed under the Creative Commons 0 License.

["don’t push your luck”]

don’t push your luck" courtesy of pyro13djt
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[“don’t touch that!” “where’s my script?!!” “this is important!”]

“Don’t touch that! montage” courtesy of FreqMan
This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution License.

[“do it again”]

“do it again” courtesy of Robinhood76
This work is licensed under the Attribution Non-Commercial License.

["do you give up now?"]

do you give up now?" courtesy of pyro13djt
This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution License.

["ew!"] & ["ugh"]

"ew!" courtesy of isabellaquintero97
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["um, excuse me
”]

“um, excuse me
” courtesy of IMadeThisForSound
This work is licensed under the Attribution Noncommercial License.

[pushy “excuse me
!”]

“excuse me
!” courtesy of pyro13djt
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[“fer sure”]

“fer sure” courtesy of Iceofdoom
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[group: shocked]

group-shocked!" courtesy of thanvannispen
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[heavy grunt]

"heavy grunt" courtesy of Reitanna Seishin
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[“hmmm”]

"hmm..." courtesy of agent vivid
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[“hmmm, what’s this?”] / ["what's that?"]

“hmmm, what’s this?” courtesy of pyro13djt
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[“hooray!”]

“hooray!” courtesy of javapimp
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[“huh?”]

"huh...?" courtesy of Adam_N
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[“I ain’t NEVER seen nothing like THAT before”]

“I ain’t NEVER seen nothing like THAT before” courtesy of alphahog
This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution License.

[“I don’t want to tell you”]

“I don’t want to tell you” courtesy of Roses1401
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[“I dunno”]

“I dunno” courtesy of nfrae
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[“if you know what I mean
 wait, what?”]

“if you know what I mean
 wait, what?” courtesy of Iceofdoom
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[“I have a thing for algorithmic music composers”]

“I have a thing for algorithmic music composers” courtesy of Tim Kahn and Amy Gedgaudas
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[I have four airplanes”]

“ I have four airplanes” ” courtesy of margo_heston
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[(chuckle) “I heard that”]

"I heard that" courtesy of Coral_Island_Studios
This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution License.

[“I hope this is worth it”]

“I hope this is worth it” courtesy of AmeAngelofSin
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[“I know, I know, I know”]

“I know, I know, I know” courtesy of Roses1401
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[“I like that!”]

“I like that!” courtesy of FreqMan
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[“I’m not so sure”]

"um, I’m not so sure..." courtesy of cognito perceptu
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[“interesting...”]

"interesting..." courtesy of Reitanna Seishin
This work is licensed under the Creative Commons 0 License.

["I see a cloud"]

“I see a cloud” courtesy of wjoojoo
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[I see five lamps”]

“ I see five lamps” ” courtesy of margo_heston
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[I see seven chairs”]

“ I see seven chairs” ” courtesy of margo_heston
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["I see these things now"]

I see these things now..." courtesy of AlienXXX
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[I smell the flower”]

“ I smell the flower" courtesy of margo_heston
This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution License.

[“it’s all complicated...”]

"...it’s all complicated” courtesy of Roses1401
This work is licensed under the Creative Commons 0 License.

[“Johnny, Is this true?”]

“Is this true...?” courtesy of Tim Kahn and Amy Gedgaudas
This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution License.

[“let’s see if you can figure this one out... no one else has yet”]

“let’s see if you can figure this one out... no one else has yet” courtesy of KieranKeegan
This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial License.

[“maybe...”]

“maybe” courtesy of deleted_user_1390811
This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution License.

[“No!"]

“No!” courtesy of theuncertainman
This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution License.

[“nooo...!”]

“nooo...!” courtesy of Junuxx
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["no sir!"]

“no sir!” courtesy of theuncertainman
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[“no way...” guy]

“no way” (guy) courtesy of kathid
This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution License.

[“oh, very nice” ]

“oh, very nice” courtesy of balloonhead
This work is licensed under the Creative Commons 0 License.

["oh no...!"]

oh, no
! courtesy of AmeAngelofSin
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[“ooooh”]

"oooooh" courtesy of brunchik
This work is licensed under the Creative Commons 0 License.

[“oh boy”]

“an exasperated, “oh boy... oh boy...” courtesy of AmeAngelofSin
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[“oh yeah...”]

“oh yeah” courtesy of Tim Kahn and Amy Gedgaudas
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[“Okay, that’s it
 I quit. This guy is terrible”]

"okay, I quit..." courtesy of InspectorJ
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[“oh, no
oh no”]

“oh, no
oh no” courtesy of qubodup
This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution License.

["ooh"]

“ooh” courtesy of Iceofdoom
This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution License

[“O woe is me”]

O woe is me" from Hamlet act 3 scene 1
a Librivox recording of a public domain text.

[“Phew!”]

“Phew!” courtesy of deoking
This work is licensed under the Creative Commons 0 License.

[“Please!”]

“please!” courtesy of AmeAngelofSin
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["really...?"]

"really...?" courtesy of juror2
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[“roger that”]

“roger that” courtesy of theuncertainman
This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution License

[“shhh... we’re in a library
”]

"shhh... we’re in a library..." courtesy of InspectorJ
This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution License.

[“shut up, mate
”]

“shut up, mate
” courtesy of arytopia
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[“so many have failed before... what makes you think you’re different?”]

“so many have failed before... what makes you think you’re different?” courtesy of KieranKeegan
This work is licensed under the Attribution Noncommercial License.

[“South, south etc.”]

“South, south etc.” courtesy of tender_buttons
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[“squeegee sounds / what was that?”]

[“that’s bad”]

"that’s bad" courtesy of Reitanna Seishin
This work is licensed under the Creative Commons 0 License.

[“that’s correct”]

"that's correct" courtesy of bogenseeberg
This work is licensed under the Creative Commons 0 License.

[“uh oh”]

"uh oh" (guy) courtesy of DWOBoyle
This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution License.

[“well, this is awkward”]

“well, this is awkward” courtesy of KieranKeegan
This work is licensed under the Attribution Noncommercial License.

[“We’re just friends”]

“We’re just friends” courtesy of Tim Kahn and Amy Gedgaudas
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[a confused “what...?”]

“what...?? (girl)" courtesy of Alivvie
This work is licensed under the Creative Commons 0 License.

[“what?!?” guy]

”what? (guy)” courtesy of balloonhead
This work is licensed under the Creative Commons 0 License.

[“what’s that?”]

”what's that?” courtesy of balloonhead
This work is licensed under the Creative Commons 0 License. 

[“shhh... we’re in a library...”]

"shhh... we’re in a library..." courtesy of InspectorJ
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[“that’s awesome”]

“that’s awesome” courtesy of caylamaureen
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[“that is excellent”]

“that is excellent” courtesy of MatteusNova
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[“that’s it!]

"that’s it
!" courtesy of javapimp
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[walkie-talkie “that’s correct”]

walkie-talkie “that’s correct" courtesy of cityrocker
This work is licensed under the Creative Commons 0 License.

[“what?!?”]

"what?!?" courtesy of Reitanna Seishin
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[“what?”]

“what?” courtesy of Roses1401
This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution License

[(chuckle) “what a sucker”]

"what a sucker" courtesy of Coral_Island_Studios
This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution License.

[“what’s that, you say?”]

“what’s that, you say?” courtesy of Stewartcolbourn
This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution License.

[“what to say, what to say
?”]

“what to say
?” courtesy of Roses1401
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[“where...?”]

“where...?” courtesy of AmeAngelofSin
This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution License.

[whistle-in-awe]

"whistle-in-awe" courtesy of InspectorJ
This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution License.

[“who’s that?”]

"who’s that?" courtesy of iccleste
This work is licensed under the Creative Commons 0 License.

[“why?”]

"why" courtesy of Reitanna Seishin
This work is licensed under the Creative Commons 0 License.

[sobbing “why?”]

“why?” courtesy of kurtless
This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution License.

[“why the fuck not?”]

“why the fuck not?” courtesy of cheesepuff
This work is licensed under the Creative Commons 0 License.

[“wow
asshole”]

“wow
asshole” courtesy of Iceofdoom
This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution License

[“yeah”]

“yeah" (girl) courtesy of deleted_user_1390811
This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution License

[“yeah, I know
”]

"yeah, I know" courtesy of Coral_Island_Studios
This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution License.

[“yeah, so what?”]

“yeah, so what?” courtesy of deleted_user_1390811
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[“yes, sir!]

"yes, sir!" courtesy of theuncertainman
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[“yikes!"]

"yikes!" courtesy of jorickhoofd
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[“you can’t do that!”]

“you can’t do that!” courtesy of R_mac
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[“You realize some people aren't going to be happy with this”]

“You realize some people aren't going to be happy with this” courtesy of prucanada
This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution License.

[“you’re scaring me”]

“you’re scaring me” courtesy of vanceparley
This work is licensed under the Creative Commons 0 License.


got a question, a comment, or just wanna say hi...?
I'd love to hear from you...
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